Dearest @teh_g, founder of this place
You have a great smile, and overall pleasant face
I love the way you laugh, your yelling makes me grin
Remember that time you blew yourself up in Worms, but claimed you let me win?
It’s for reasons like this, I can say you have a big heart
Whenever I have PC issues, I turn to you because you’re smart
You’re always willing to help, as long as I buy you pretty things, but in the end I’m the winner, because I was loved on by a king
Then there was that time @ShiftySatchmo was drunk
He decided to tell me something, not knowing he was being a punk
He told me you were adopted, and for 3 years I believed it was true, until I saw a picture of your mom, and said “Wow, coincidentally, she looks just like you!”
Then you said, “that’s because I was born inside her,”
And my jaw dropped as I realized @ShiftySatchmo was a drunk’n liar
Then there was that other time we watched every star wars in one day,
I ate an entire box of lucky charms in a sauce pan, for I know no other way
You see @teh_g, you’re more than a pretty face,
You’re a wonderful friend, someone @nanderman can’t replace
So on this day, we celebrate that your real mom brought you into our lives,
Because you’re as soft as a butterfly, but as sharp as Call of Duty throwing knives (1 hit omgggggg)
Happy Birthday my dear boy, take a bow this is your stage
Like a fine wine, you’ve only gotten more delicious, as you continue to age!
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo