The funnies

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

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zmajuga Last time I was there I got stabbed in the leg.

Reposting Katsuo 's video post bc this is a riot. ShiftySatchmo did you see this yet?

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I got home from the pub last night and my wife said, “I can’t believe how intoxicated you are”.

Denying it I said, “I’m not drunk”.

She said, “Yes you are”.

I said, “No I’m fucking not”.

She said, “Can you tell the time?”

I walked up to the clock and said, “I’m not fucking drunk”.

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Scroll down a bit and check out the video:

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gord0 Sometimes when I’m bored I go on Youtube and watch videos of bullies getting tossed around and it makes me feel great

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Hey sexy, Shut that door behind you and take off your pants! Get on top of me and do whatever you need to do to satisfy your needs. I want to hear that all famous ‘AHH’ when you’re done. Love always…
The toilet seat xx

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“Put it in. No, really get it in there. Come on, you’re not banging hard enough! God, you’re pathetic. Look, just grip it at the base if you need to, guide it in, then start hammering away. I’m not just gonna hang around waiting for you to figure this out, just get on with it! Ah, now you’ve got it. Oh no, it’s come out again. Bloody hell, you’re absolutely useless!” I fucking hate putting shelves up.

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buttstallion SNOKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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